Sunday, January 13, 2008
Sun Oak Baptist Church

Introduction

        A. Acknowledgement: the outline for this message has been derived from The Four Rules of Communication which is one of the modules taught in the Biblical Counseling Training Conference (Track 1 of 6) offered every February by Faith Baptist Church of Lafayette, Indiana – www.faithlafayette.org. We recommend this conference to all Christians. It is an outstanding experience.

        3 additional resources that we recommend in the area of communication are: the book War of Words by Dr. Paul Tripp; Strengthening your Marriage by Dr. Wayne Mack; and The Exemplary Husband by Dr. Stuart Scott.

        B. The problem of the tongue. See James 3:1-12.

        C. The solution.

                1. Step #1: admit we have the problem.

                2. Step #2: apply the solution. Learn to bridle the tongue. See                 James 1:26.

                If we can learn to bridle our tongues, and really what James is talking about is re-directing our tongues, if we can grow in this area of the Christian life that growth has the single greatest potential of having a positive and God-honoring effect on our whole entire life. Our tongues set the course: are we becoming more like Christ or less like Christ? Check our speech.

        D. How can we learn to bridle our tongues?

        Learn to apply the 4 rules of communication found in Eph. 4:25-32.

I. Rule #1: Be Honest. See Eph. 4:25.

        God is concerned about how we talk. He cares about how we use our tongue.

        Now remember: what we are going to do for each of these rules is to apply the Biblical principle often referred to as “putting off” and “putting on. Read 4:22 & 24.

        A. First of all, in order to be honest we must put off lying and         falsehood.

                1. Sometimes there is outright deceit and sometimes we can                 exaggerate or embellish the truth. Guard against using 100%                 words such as “always, never, and only.”

                2. We can misrepresent someone else, for example, by using                 “under the table” or “back door” messages.

                3. Another way of lying is using body language and words that                 don’t match. “I’m not mad at you!!”

        Please note: Lord willing, this series will conclude next Sunday.

        B. Whenever we “put off” something we need to “put on” something

II. Rule #2: Keep Current. See Eph. 4:26-27.

III. Rule #3: Attack the Problem…Not the Person. See Eph. 4:29-30.

IV. Rule #4: Act…Don’t React. See Eph. 4:31-32.

Conclusion