Sunday, January 27, 2008
Sun Oak Baptist Church

Introduction

        Please see notes from previous messages in this series.

I. Rule #1: Be Honest. See Eph. 4:25.

II. Rule #2: Keep Current. See Eph. 4:26-27.

III. Rule #3: Attack the Problem…Not the Person. See Eph. 4:29-30.

        When we have a conflict with someone, when they do something we don’t like, or when we are offended by someone we have the tendency to attack the person – to lash out at them. Often we do it without ever intending to do it.

        How can we learn to attack the problem and not the person?

        A. In order to not attack the person we have to put off words that         attack.

        These are corrupt words like: “you’re a liar; you did that on purpose; you never should have said that; I can’t believe you did that!” Words that are harmful and unwholesome; that attack the person’s character. See Matt. 5:22.

        B. In order to attack the problem we have to put on words that edify,         build up, or give grace to others. Attacking the problem means…

                1. …using words that are directed towards solving the problem.

                2. …speaking in a timely manner. See Prov. 15:23.

                3. …focusing on our responsibilities and what we have done to                 contribute to the problem. See Matt. 7:3-5.

                4. …expressing solutions in terms of action. See Rom. 8:28.                 Look for God’s purpose(s) in giving us the situation; what is He                 trying to teach me?

IV. Rule #4: Act…Don’t React. See Eph. 4:31-32.

        And Paul gives us both sides of the equation here: he lists some specific things for us to put off and put away, in other words some specific reactions, and then he lists some specific things for us to put on – in other words some specific actions we can purpose to take so we don’t react with our tongues.

        A. First: Paul identifies at 6 sinful reactions that need to be put off.

                1. Put off bitterness.

                2. Wrath

                3. Anger.

                4. Clamor.

                5. Evil speaking.

                6. Put off malice.

        B. Second: Paul identifies 3 actions to put on.

                1. Be kind.

                2. Be tenderhearted.

                3. Be forgiving.

        C. How can we feel bitterness; how can we not be tenderhearted         towards others; how can we not be forgiving when we understand         and walk in the truth that God has forgiven us – forgiven us our         trespasses as He intends us to forgive those who trespass against us.

Conclusion